Lessons I Have Learned

This Week

Take the stairs - Photo by Guillaume QL on Unsplash

I had a blog post almost ready to send out into the world this week, but my gut says it’s not quite ready yet. There are two internal writing voices I have…my gut and my head. When my head speaks, I listen and then push send. That is the voice of perfectionism voicing its concerns. When my gut speaks, I listen and pause…there is some more evolution to occur before the piece is finished.

My own evolution happens with or without my active participation…mostly without. When pondering the subject of my personal growth, examples from just the last week flowed through my brain. The end result, the current Jane is slightly more wiser, emphasis on the slightly, than the Jane last week. It’s not too often I have a week of growth that I can delineate so tangibly, but I thought I’d share it with you so perhaps you’d understand what growth looks like for me.

***

Sitting at my desk, the sound of a guinea pig drinking from their water bottle rattled pleasantly beside me. Then the sound changed to more rattling and urgent than usual, I turned to look into the cage…an empty water bottle. While there was a second full bottle present next to the empty one, Georgia seemed to want to enjoy the empty bottle more so I jumped up to remove the bottle from a complicated series of steel bungie holders. Then nature whispered.

Now I’m at the age where when nature whispers you listen because it can go from whisper to roar in about a minute.

Deciding that removing the bottle could not be that difficult before I headed to the bathroom, I continued to tug at the chains that held that bottle in place. Nature stopped whispering. My actions became slightly more desperate, and I started tugging at the bottle. Then nature roared, I broke the chain that held the bottle in place, dropped everything, and ran to the bathroom.

Lesson Learned: Attempts to give unnecessary help will only end in my own discomfort. Mind to my own business…literally and figuratively.

***

Every week sees me participating in wallyball (volleyball played in a racquetball court). It’s a fun fast-paced game that allows me to remember what an Achilles heel is and where they are located. Because it is held in a racquetball court, you need indoor shoes to play. I purchased the cheapest shoes I could find for this once a week endeavour.

The key to being considered “a good player” in wallyball is not to stay stationary. The more flailing you can do in a wider proximity increases your chance of connecting with the ball. Where it goes is not your responsibility. The goal is to make it someone else’s problem.

Last week playing in my cheap new shoes, I made a move to dart for the ball. My feet shot out from under me and I fell flat on my back hard. Everyone looked a little shocked, and when one person helped me up and asked if I was okay, I assured him I was fine which was true. I felt nothing until the next day. But then I focused on what was really important and asked…

Did that at least look graceful?

He laughed and assured me it did.

Lesson: You will fall hard, just make it look good.

***

Lately, I have been struggling with cooking. I expend a rather large amount of energy thinking each day about what to make for dinner, what we have in stock, and how to cater to vegan/non-vegan diets. Not having much energy to throw away in the first place, it was a daily argument with myself that I was tired of having.

So I decided to spend last Sunday afternoon making a meal plan for the week and Monday afternoon shopping for it. As a result, the only discussion I had with myself is a whining episode about not wanting to cook, but never about what to cook. What a phenomenal week!

Lesson: A well-prepared meal plan is the secret to world domination.

***

Standing waiting for the elevator to my dentist’s office, an elderly couple approached the elevator doors to wait with me. The wife was moving slowly on a wheeled frame behind her husband. Her movements appeared painful, and I didn’t want her to feel the added pressure of feeling rushed. When the doors opened, I stepped back to allow the the elderly couple to enter first, but the husband shook his head no and gallantly gestured for me to go first, so I obliged.

I entered took my place by the numbered floor panel trying to remember which button held the doors open. Hate those elevator pictographs. Meanwhile, the elderly couple entered, and when boarded, the wife snapped…

Sure, you let her go first, but you just walk right in front of me.

He replied in the smart-ass fashion that one adopts when you’ve been together for so long that longevity is given even if happiness is not and true feelings can flow forth.

Of course! I’m no gentleman.

It was a long chilly ride up to floor 2 where they departed. She went first.

Lesson: Take the stairs.

***

I have a love of self-help and personal growth books. I like to believe that this makes my spiritual and personal evolution a given, and with my vast ordering of books from the library on the subject, a carefully curated evolution.

It is a belief that was shattered last week in a quote from the book Claim Your Power by Mastin Kipp where he talks about people consuming lots of books, videos, and content on spirituality and personal growth.

I call this spiritual entertainment which boils down to taking in all the spiritual content you can and then doing nothing with it.

Damn it. He got me.

I am not sure how I ended up with this particular book or why I felt I needed to claim my power, probably an incident akin to almost peeing myself changing guinea pig water, but here it was on my shelf so for fun (I do find these things fun), I decided to work through the 40-day program.

If you know me, you know I am inconsistently consistent so after firm extolling by the author to see it through and stick with the program, I consistently participated for four days and then life happened and I took two off. First I felt a little guilty. Was that it? Was I destined to remain powerless?

Fortunately, I don’t have time for that nonsense and just decided to pick up where I left off and then I had an epiphany. Diets have cheat days…40-day programs should have them too.

Lesson: When I find my power, I will write a personal growth book with a 4-day on 4-day off program.

***

I greatly dislike visiting the dentist. There is a roll of the dice on which dental hygienist you will receive…some are sadist teeth scrappers and others reef with the floss. Therefore, it is always with trepidation that I go to the dentist.

Then in walks Alice. After a preliminary chit-chat, we get to the good stuff. She tells me about her current puppy and then mentions her grief about a dog she lost last fall. I tell her about the term heart dog, and we spend a good hour talking about the furry loves of our lives. It was the only time I kept talking while someone had their hands in my mouth. The visit flew by and no pain.

Lesson: Dogs always make life better…even when they’re not with you.

***

So that’s my week of personal growth. Hope yours was equally productive and that you remember to listen to whispers…when they’re still whispers.

The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that most important things can’t be learned at school. - Haruki Murakami

Still looking after me…even in a dental chair