The Power of Words
We have been suffering from COVID for the last few weeks so not a lot of writing or thinking, but a lot of immediate need activity…eat, sleep, medicate, scroll social media, and watch mindless TV to kill time until we feel better…and repeat.
Until this week, then my brain reawoke with the desire to put fingers on keyboard again…a good sign of healing between coughing bouts.
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Mom! Loud whisper from a child standing in front of me, eyes wide, the desire to share written across their eager face. They had a couple of little friends visiting so some kid drama was to be expected.
They said a bad word!!! I matched their widened eyes with my own and leaned forward.
It was the S word! They said…STUPID!
What can I say? I raised small children who shocked easily.
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When I initially started writing this story, I wanted to talk about the regret I felt about teaching my children to be so consumed with such a minor word. But in sitting with the idea, it just didn’t sit right with me. Words have extraordinary power. To this day, I type medical reports where the words said and not said have created lifelong emotional scars. Words can paint beauty. Words can maim. In hindsight, I don’t regret my kids not using powerful words they didn’t understand the implications of before they knew of the time and place to use them.
I won’t sit on my lofty soapbox and say that my intentions were pure. They weren’t. At the time of raising them I had the goal of raising non-swearers associating language with morality…an unfortunate stance which came from a belief that children learned from what I said…not what I did.
However, the best antidote in the world for a self-righteous mom is…her own kids. Through time, patience, and repeated servings of humble pie, my children have managed to raise me to be better than that.
Now, I am proud to say that I have three children who can roll it out like sailors; however and this is the big however, they usually know the time and place to express themselves…with Nanna…keep it to a minimum…friends online…no holds barred.
And I can let a few go myself as well now. I am not a natural swearer. It just doesn’t roll off my tongue easily…I need to practice more; however, stub my little toe and it flows like poetry.
All this talking about language and words to talk about…
Stink bugs.
Didn’t see that one coming, did you? I love a good redirect.
Stink bugs have been a recent addition to homes across BC and for us specifically the last two years. A recently introduced non-native species starting in the States around 1998, their population has exploded. So named because of their ability to send out noxious fumes if squished or threatened in any way, stink bugs have been the subject of many a Facebook conversation in the last few years.
My first introduction to the stink bug involved a rather subdued helicopter noise skimming past my ear and a big thud on the wall behind me. Turning slowly, I was faced with the biggest little bug, about 1 cm, armored and intimidating. With a squeak, I deserted the couch and ran in search of the nearest child to get rid of it for me. Since then many more stink bugs have appeared in our home with similar reactions.
Initially, my social media reading led me to believe that these are home invaders who will reign down pestilence and disease while copulating until you have thousands in your home. They will infect your dogs with their eggs and lick your toothbrush. Every stink bug found, though never killed, was immediately dispensed outside promptly with feelings of horror and violation.
Then one day, a stink bug and I met in the kitchen. Spending some time examining him, I appreciated his symmetry, patterning, and form. They were cute in a military bug sort of way. I decided to do some research.
That’s when I discovered that contrary to social media they do not cause damage or spread disease. All they want is a warm place to spend the winter. They do not breed in your home during their stay but prefer to multiply their numbers outside. Your pets and toothbrushes are safe and will not be assaulted. Your house plants, however, are fair game.
As an aside, I was disappointed to read from a children’s information site a tip to suck them up with a vacuum and not squish them due to their smell. Why would you advise children to kill a harmless creature? Isn’t the mission here to get children to love and care for the natural world so they are the preservers of it? It is my untested simplistic hypothesis that the widening of the wage gap, economic greed, and environmental destruction are in part due to generations of bug vacuum suckers and squishers.
Just saying…it is a plausible hypothesis. Back to regular programming.
I also discovered that they are called shield bugs and it was only when they reached North America that they were given the name stink bugs.
So, Henry, my new friend, is now welcome to winter in our household and while the loud noise as he flies by someone’s head remains disconcerting, he poses no risk. I am also making an effort to call him by his proper name “Shield Bug” or “Henry” as opposed to stink bug.
Because words matter, and had he been referred to by his proper name as opposed to stink bug, people’s desire to create a cacophony of misinformation may have been decreased, and I may have educated myself earlier before releasing his poor friends into the elements.
I have learned a valuable lesson though. Gleaning wildlife advice from social media without doing further research is stupid.
Yup, I said it…STUPID. Thanks, kids.
Swearing - Because sometimes “gosh darn” and “booger head” just don’t cover it.
- Unknown
